Our pick of the month is Brian Lobel’s Cruising for Art, a suspiciously non-Xmas event. If you’re feeling festive try BAC, BGWMC, Duckie’s Copyright Christmas, Drink Shop & Do and much more…read on Scrooge, read on…

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Christmas Cook Up Season @ Battersea Arts Centre | 1st-31stDecember | Various Times | £Various

 BAC presents a delightful festive festival packed with emerging theatre developed on site, including theatre, music, words, food & drink. Our pick of the pops includes: “Bluebeard“ - a dark cabaret fairytale about a nobleman in the habit of murdering his wives; and renegade theatre troupe Little Bulb’s “The Mother of All Goose Parties” – a musical journey/party.

Christmas Open Studios @ Cockpit Arts | 2nd-4th December | Free

  Don’t Argos it! Buy something truly unique from Cockpit Arts’ supremely talented bunch of crafty creatives. Choose from fashion accessories, homewares and much more as you enjoy some lovely food courtesy of Handmade Food, or enter the prize draw to win handmade Christmas decorations made by CA’s talented designers. 

Bethnal Green Working Mens Club Xmas Season @ BGWMC | 3rd-17th December | Various Times | £Various

 Come to the venue where it’s so camp, it’s Christmas all year round! Highlights of their awesome Christmas parties include: Coney Island Christmas Party (inspired by the kookiest car-crash beach resort that is Coney Island N.Y.) on the 3rd December; Dirty Fan Male (based on real letters sent to porn stars) on the 14th December; and the Cream Revue Christmas Party.

Canadian Blast vs Oui Love @ Rich Mix | 5th December | 19:30 | Free

Oui fell in love with ‘Oui Love’ at the Institut Francais, where we bopped insanely to their latest compilation of French future mega-hits. We can’t wait to hear Zooey at RichMix.

Amateur Transplants @ Lyric Theatre | 5th December | 20:00 | £22.50

Ok we admit it, we are totally obsessed with musical comedy – we write about it more than anything else on the site. See some cream-of-the-crop musical comedy at the luscious Lyric Theatre, full of witty puns and laugh out loud mayhem from YouTube stars, Amateur Transplants.

Robyn Hood @ The RVT | 7th & 28th-30th December | Various Times | £8.50

We went to the RVT Panto last year and saw stripping, beautiful rhyming song with Marcus Reeves and trannies. This year we expect nothing less.

Brian Lobel’s Cruising for Art @ Vogue Fabrics | 9th December | 20:00-22:00 | £5

 Unbelievably brilliant and irreverently sleazy event where audience members have to cruise an audacious array of artists in order to gain access to intimate, one on one performances – all over 4 floors of the Vogue Fabrics mansion. The line up for this round includes Bryony Kimmings, Tui’s Nail Bar (Tui is an emerging artist – just 10 years old!), Eirini Kartsaki, Mamoru Iriguchi, Rachel Gomme, Catherine Long, The Famous Lauren Barri Holstein, Timberlina (as Tim Redfern), GraceLes and Owen Parry.

Duckie Copyright Christmas and Duckie Christmas Market @ The Barbican | 10th-30th December | Various Times | £19.99

We are very impressed to see that those fabulous Duckie people have infiltrated the usually-clean Barbican website with falling snow. Pretty! In their latest interactive charade, featuring Scottee & Harrold Offeh, the collective express their dissatisfaction with the commercialism of Christmas. We feel the same! Then, after you’ve got all ruffled by the performance, explore the Duckie Christmas Market for offbeat treats from independent sellers who love a chat.

The Joy of Sketch @ Lyric Theatre | 12th December | 19:30 | £17.50-£38.50

 Sketch comedy is a Loserville favourite genre, and we are happy that Time Out got its thinking cap on and put on this festive frollic with some of the best troupes around. Including Late Night Gimp Fight, Idiots of Ants, The Pajama Men and Two Episodes of Mash.

Bourgeois & Maurice: Fa La La La La @ Soho Theatre | 14th December – 7th January | 21:45 | £10-£15

Christmas cheer not quite grabbed you? Perfect! Come and join LV faves Bourgeois and Maurice for their festive (?) Christmas spectacular. Expect: hilarity, doom mongering and costume changes (we hope!).

The Xmas Starty @ Soho Theatre | 14th-23rd December | Various Times | £15

Soho Theatre says: “The most bizarre office Christmas party you will ever attend.” We say: “Bring it on babycakes!”. Dress up in your frump chic and enjoy the music, passion, laughs, games, dances, prizes and crafting.

Inappropriate Christmas Card Making @ Drink, Shop & Do | 21st December | 20:00ish | Free (well, you have to buy a drink…)

This cute cafe in Kings Cross presents great participatory events including knit-ins, musical bingo and inappropriate Xmas fun. Don’t miss this hidden gem…

Let’s dance our socks off! Tonight at Push the Button at the Royal Vauxhall Tavern. More details on their Facebook event here.

We’re too busy planning our outfit and finding suitable requests to write a proper article so here’s what they say:

“IF YOU’RE A FLY GAL GET YOUR NAILS DONE, GET A PEDICURE, GET YOUR HAIR DID because London’s PREMIER POP PARTY is BACK AT THE RVT on FRIDAY 30th SEPT, 9pm – 3am!

From Robyn & Gaga to Aqua & Schlager, PUSH THE BUTTON is a celebration of the last 2 decades of POP! We’ll be playing ALL THE HITS: synths, guitars, keytars, drum-machines, girl bands, boy bands, impossible princesses – it’s a glamophonic, electronic, d-d-disco baby!

Pics of the last event are here: http://www.facebook.com/kyliecocktails?sk=photos

So… what’s happening this month?

DJs – HITS&MRS with guests KNITOLA ROBERTS (Purls Aloud) and DJ BJ will be playing ALL KILLER, NO FILLER.

LIVE ON STAGE @ MIDNIGHT: HARRY CLAYTON-WRIGHT in WHAT HAPPENED TO MY SWEET BEYONCE?

★ BADGES, POSTERS, CUDDLY-TOYS, TOBLERONES… Y’know, THE USUAL NONSENSE ★
★ LOUIS WALSH’S LITTLE BOYS ROOM ★
★ DANIEL CLATWORTHY’S CHER + WINONA MERMAID MAKEOVERS ★
★ HARPER SEVEN’S LITTLE GUCCI DRESS BABY SHOWER ★
★ BELINDA CARLISLE’S BRIXTON BAKE-OFF (RIOT CAKES) ★
★ GAGA: ALL THE HITS ★
★ CUDDLY BEARS (…IN VESTS) ★
★ BUBBLY IN THE FRIDGE ★
★ A LINKIN PARK SONG! IKR!? ★

PLUS more to be announced, and surprises on the night…

♫♪ Disc 1 (The Nineties):

Salt ‘n’ Pepa, Belinda, Madonna, Paula, Janet, Sonique, Cher, Missy, Cathy, Louise, Betty Boo, Billie, Wilson Phillips, Deuce, En Vogue, Destiny’s Child, Pet Shop Boys, Alliyah, TLC, Eternal, Ace of Base, Shakespeares Sister, Mel C, Roxette, Corona, KLF, Love City Groove, Oceanic, All Saints, The Cardigans, B*Witched, Backstreet Boys…

♫♪ Disc 2 (The Noughties):

Robyn, Nicola, Annie, Dannii, Kylie, Gaga, Kelis, Pixie, Marina, Rihanna, Rachel, VV, Shakira, Lily, Katy, La Roux, Scooch, Alphabeat, Little Boots, Alcazar, Yelle, Ke$ha, MIA, Sleigh Bells, Goldfrapp, Scissor Sisters, Le Tigre, Ting Tings, Sebastien Teller, Dizzee, P!nk, Pussycat Dolls…

Leave your POP PRETENTIONS at home!

Please note: try and get here early – the last party was so rammed we had to close the doors at 1am. Once we hit capacity we can’t let any more of you in :P

9PM UNTIL THE WORLD ENDS (3AM)
All this for the same price as a Britney’s Greatest HITS in HMV: £5.

Our website: www.hits.li
email us: DJS@hits.li

The Royal Vauxhall Tavern
372 Kennington Lane, London SE11 5HY

ALL BUS, NO FUSS: 2, 36, 77,87,88, 187, 344, 360, 436 (NIGHTBUSES:) N2, N36, N344, N87, N88

MIND THE GAP: Vauxhall Station (zone 1) on the Victoria Line. Exit the Station Via Exit 1 and turn right under the tunnel, walk to the end and turn right again, The RVT is the big, gorgeous victorian pub in front of you!

TRAIN COMES BUT WE KNOW ITS DESTINATION: Vauxhall Station situated next door to the tube and bus station, this line runs to and from Waterloo station/Clapham Junction.”

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We are super psyched about the launch of East Pop West a new three day art festival bringing the best of the East London to the West. The exhibition is taking place at the 20,000 sq ft former Innocent Smoothies Headquarters in Goldhawk industrial estate near Hammersmith (map here) - sounds like an adventure to us! It’s running this weekend from Friday September 30 to Sunday October 2 with the opening night tonight more info here. Live performances are promised from 7-10pm on Friday and Saturday and the space includes a children’s creative space, bar & cafe and many more special events. Tickets are just a fiver full price or £3 concessions and it’s free for under 12s.

www.eastpop.co.uk

The pop up exhibition features one of our hot tips (see article here) from the Sir John Cass Art school, Christopher Duncan and also work by our favourites Blink Art, who make weird and wonderful illustration for a commercial world.

Chris’s work in the show includes: Oil Paintings, Work on perspex, Collaborative photography/performance project with photographer Flo K and 2 new films, one featuring Ladjanelane at the Beach House, filmed by Wade H Grimbly and directed by Alexander Maxwell.

The full line up of paint, print, performance and many more forms is presented by the Red Gallery London and includes:

Adam Dant ~ Alex Noble ~ Artswipe ~ Bert Industries ~ Blink Art ~ Cedric Christie ~ Christopher Duncan & Flo Kohl ~ Claire Howells ~ ContainerPlus ~ Dan Canyon ~ The Dark Times ~ Darren Coffield ~ Decima International Art Projects ~ The Department of Memory ~ Don’t Tell Stories ~ Dr D ~ East London Furniture ~ Florence Boyd ~ Found Art Collective ~ Gail Burton ~ Hackney WickEd ~ Hato Press ~ Joseph Mann ~ KeelerTornero ~ Le Gun ~ Macarena Yanez ~ Marco ~ Mark O’Rourke ~ Martin Sexton ~ Martin Wollerstam ~ Material ~ Max Hattler ~ Metric Collective ~ The Outside World ~ Paul Sakoilsky ~ Pil & Galia Kollectiv ~ Pure Evil ~ RART ~ RAX ~ Raul Pina ~ Rodolph de Salis ~ Ronzo ~ Root 5 ~ /seconds ~ TheUnconsciousCollective ~ This Is It Collective

http://eastpop.co.uk/

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10 Things To Do Now The Sun Has Finally Buggered Off

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Lots of fun stuff to do this month, including: storytelling at the Leicester Square Theatre, films at BFI Southbank, dressing up at Institut Francais, dancing at Bethnal Green Working Men’s Club, music in Hoxton, exhibitions at The V&A, a premiere at Rich Mix and lots more…!

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London Storytelling Festival @ Leicester Square Theatre | 1-10 October | Various Times | £Various

Loserville loves a great bedtime story with our Ovaltine fix, so thank goodness for the London Storytelling Festival. Our top picks include the Gala night on the 10th October which includes top comedian Phil Kay and Simpsons star Harry Shearer. Also, we’re looking forward to Storytellers Club, where comedienne supremo Sarah Kendall and other comedians provide tales for round the campfire.

Maya Deren: 50 Years On @ BFI Southbank | 4-12 October | Various Times | £Various

To mark the 50th anniversary of  filmmaker Maya Deren, the BFI have put on a rather spiffing selection of events to explore her wonderful work. Through her work, Maya challenged the studio format and fused poetry, dance, visual art and a fascination for Haitian Voodoo. There are too many superb events to list here but a selection includes: a symposium exploring the legacy of Maya Deren (Saturday 8th October) and also 3 themed nights of her films entitled: ‘Chamber Films’, ‘Movement & Ritual’ and ‘Fragments & Outtakes’.

‘Barbarella’ & Cosmic Party @ Institut Francais | 8 October | 20:40-Late | £15/£12

The kookiest film on the planet, featuring a voluptuous, naked, weightless Jane Fonda; a beautiful blind blonde angel called Pygar; and the rather lovingly named ‘Orgasmatron’. We are so proud of the Institut Francais in South Kensington for organising this super spacey shindig. See you there, COSMONAUTS!

Umbabungo @ Bethnal Green Working Men’s Club | 8 October | 21:00-02:00 | £7

UMBABINGO! LIMBO CONTEST! TRIBAL GAMES! TOPLESS DARTS DANCE OFF! TRIBALOKE (PRESENTED BY HOT BREATH KARAOKE) AND MORE! Nuff said one thinks.

Kyla La Grange @ Hoxton Square Bar & Kitchen | 13 October | 19:00 | £8.50

Kyla was our Bestival beauty and we can’t wait to see a full gig. Her voice is scratchy silk and reminds us of great heroines like Kate Bush. Catch her now at her ‘Heavy Stone’ single launch before she goes massive. Watch the video for the new single here.

The Colored Museum by Talawa @ The V&A | 15-23 October | Various Times | £9-12

We love the V&A’s efforts to broaden its appeal through its innovative Late nights, performances and super talks. This show by the incredibly talented Talawa company takes a hilarious, satirical and often poignant look at the last 200 years of the African-American experience. It takes place in an imaginary culture museum full of 12 living exhibits, and examines stereotypes including the ever smiling Miss Pat, an airline hostess for ‘Celebrity Slaveship’. Not to be missed!

‘Underwater Love’ UK Premiere @ Rich Mix | 16 October | 18:30 | £15

We already previewed this spectacularly odd porn/kitsch/musical/fairy tale about a girl falling in love with a sea creature. We hope you’ve booked already and watched the trailer (which is in our article here). This event features a live performance of music from the film by multi-lingual musical maestros Stereo Total. We are interviewing them soon so keep your eyes peeled.

Private Eye: The First 50 Years @ The V&A | From 18 October | Free

The  V&A Museum is on fire this month, bursting with amazing exhibitions such as Power of Making and Postmodernism: Style and Subversion 1970-1990. This event features our fave HIGNFY-er Ian Hislop and cartoonist Nick Newman on the rise of the irreverent and plain cheeky Private Eye. The mag is famed for its ability to juggle hard-hitting  journalism and hilarity.

Trunkated @ Blue Elephant Theatre | 25 October | 20:00 | Free

Free fun in the cutest lovely little theatre in London. This night features at least 5 unique and exciting new performances by up-and-coming theatre companies including Hey Ho Ha, Outside Puppets and Scrawny Cat. Book your free ticket now by emailing: info@blueelephanttheatre.co.uk.

Trashing Performance @ Toynbee Studios/Tate Modern/Bethnal Green Working Men’s Club | 25-29 October | Various Times | £10

Loserville is proud to champion entertainment, quirky events and above all trash culture. This awesome mini festival of talks, shows, salons and films explores trash within performance and features some truly awesome events. We will be covering it in more depth later in the month but for now here are our highlights: ‘This is Not a Dream‘ – a film & live event exploring artists use of video to promote freakery; Augusto Corrieri; Shunt; Amy Lame; and Time Out Cabaret writer Ben Walters.

Loserville is proud to promote a new art fiend. Lady Jane Lane has arrived in London town!

Lady Jane Lane is an art collector and fashion commentator, who was an infamous model & dancer in her former life. However she has left her past behind to explore the deep recesses of the creative condition. Check out her quite trendy and ever opionated Tumblr blog here to read her latest musings and see exclusive pictures… www.ladyjanelane.tumblr.com. Be sure to keep your eyes peeled at an art event near you as you may find out something even Loserville doesn’t know.

Essentially Lady Jane Lane snaps up the next big things in UK emerging art and we’re her biggest fan!

Follow @ladyjanelane on Twitter, check out Ladyjanelane on Facebook, and tumblr-stalk at www.ladyjanelane.tumblr.com

POP.SIN Ep 1. Ladyjanelane from christopher duncan on Vimeo.

The pics are by Worldwidewade and Systeme_D (Paris)

We here at Loserville are pretty wild sometimes, but nothing on this super new event, happening TOMORROW! It was created to celebrate the feral naked teenager who was brought to Kensington Palace as a pet. We can’t wait to celebrate this beautiful oddity with a Victorian Freakshow, Masked Ball and a chance to snoop round a pretty palace! DON’T MISS! Tickets here

About the wild boy…

A celebrity ‘wild boy’ of the Georgian period. Found as a feral teenager living naked in the woods near Hanover in Germany and brought to London in the spring of 1726. He spent time at Kensington Palace in the courts of King George I and of his son and daughter-in-law, the Prince and Princess of Wales. Daniel Defoe wrote a book about him, a wax figure of him was exhibited in the Strand, and William Kent painted him amongst other court members on the King’s Staircase.

About the event tomorrow…

Roll up, roll up for a decadent evening of music, magic, performance and dancing at the Enchanted Palace!  For one night only

Kensington Palace will beguile guests inside the palace and outside in the gardens as they succumb to the spell cast over the palace.

Come and be amazed by the last remaining Victorian freakshow, performed by The Gaiety Engine or listen in to 300 years of scandal and intrigue from the Official Palace Gossips (in return for your own gossip…).  Don’t miss the opportunity to try your hand at paper rose making or to create a paper palace lantern. Perhaps pick up a tip or two on period dance styles in preparation for the highlight of the evening, a Masked Ball on the Orangery Lawn, with musical enchantment ‘conducted’ by Lady Winnie of The Last Tuesday Society.

About Enchanted Palace… 

Explore Kensington’s magnificent State Apartments, a mysterious and atmospheric world for visitors to explore during the evening. Enchanted Palace features contemporary fashion installations inspired by the stories of the seven princesses who once lived at the palace, enhanced by live performance, storytelling, soundscapes, light works and film projections, to reveal Kensington Palace in a magical new light. We visited and thought it was ace, the oddity factor was ultra…!

Dress code a must: Bold and beautiful, theatrical attire – masks are strongly encouraged!
Tickets are £15.00 per person and include entry to the palace and entertainments. Limited tickets – advance booking essential. This event is recommended for over 16s.  To book tickets please visit http://www.hrp.org.uk/KensingtonPalace/WhatsOn/TheWildBoysBall2011.aspx or call 0844 482 7777 or collect on the day.

Don’t miss La Cucina Futurista, a beautiful pop-up in admiration of the Futurist’s Kitchen, co-produced by Gay Bingo friend of Loserville, Ma Butcher!

RSVP VIRTUALLY ON FACEBOOK HERE: http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=242556145776869

BOOKING NOW FOR Thurs 15th/ Fri 16th/ Sat 17th/ Thurs22nd/ Fri 23rd/ Sat 24th SEPTEMBER

Three courses, plus aperitif, antipasti, wine and coffee @ £40 a head.

TO RESERVE IN REALITY PLEASE CALL M: 07506 146085 / OR EMAIL cucinafuturista@yahoo.co.u​k

**Advance payment for dinner required to confirm booking**

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Introducing ‘La Cucina Futurista’ pop-up restaurant

Book now for one of the most intriguing culinary evenings around, full of surprising sights, sounds, scents and, of course, original and delicious dishes all inspired by the infamous Futurist Cookbook.

In 1932, the Italian Futurist artist artist Filippo Tommaso Marinetti penned his controversial Futurist Cookbook, calling for a complete revolution in Italian food, wrenching it out of a sluggish, 19th century bourgeois past and into the dynamic, technological 20th century.

According to Marinetti, cooking should not just be about nourishment but full of avant-garde experimentation and innovation, while eating should be a multisensory experience. Most of all Marinetti declared war on that Italian staple, pastacuitta (pasta)…

‘La Cucina Futurista’ brings you a dinner that pays homage to the great Futurist artist’s vision – minus his more questionable politics and less palatable dishes. Guests will instead enjoy a mouth-watering, Futurist-inspired Italian menu and an all-round memorable evening – without a suggestion of spaghetti.

We stumbled upon our new favourite central London eatery purely by chance and discovered the supremely lovely home of  MD’s -’The Slightly Different Sandwich’.

MD’s, an open topped sandwich boutique deli masterminded by Denis Bezucha, has opened in Covent Garden bringing snazzy, high-end, Viennese style but affordable sandwiches to the lovely people of London.

It’s all about open-face sandwiches – think a slice of bread with toppings and you’re pretty much there… But knock us down with a feather, the toppings are good! All the usual stuff, obviously, Vienna-stylee, but also caviar, crayfish, Hungarian salami, Vitamin carrot & celery, crab cocktail, salmon pearls, veggie bomb (!)… the list goeth on! OH YEAH AND THEY ARE  ALL ABOUT £1! 

Perfect for a quick brekkie bite,  glam but functional lunch, or chilled out evening snackette – MD’s is Loserville’s new favourite sandwich shop! We got great service when we went, and loved eating £1 caviar at work (we looked so damn classy!). Also online ordering coming very soon too, this writer just melted.

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Contact them here: office@yummymds.co.uk or on Twitter here: http://twitter.com/mds_sandwiches

Check out their website at: www.yummymds.co.uk.

And they can be found here:

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Loserville actually cannot wait for this festival which is taking place this Sunday 7th August 2011 in leafy, lovely Victoria Park! It’s featuring some top offbeat superstars, who we can relate to including Patrick Wolf, Pam Hogg, Tim Minchin, Marcus Brigstocke, Magic Numbers, Saint Etienne and Loserville favourites Bourgeois and Maurice. Totally our kind of festival, small, friendly and just a little bit strange hehe (and it includes magic shows!). Get your bargain priced (£29.95 + bkg fee) tickets here

Top tips for the Apple Cart Festival:

Patrick Wolf: After meeting him at a lovely cafe in skanky Southeast London this journalist is really looking forward to checking out his new material and outlandish outfit choices…

The Art Car Boot Fair: Karen who invented this lovely day of art being sold out the back of cars, and we are eager to see their pop-up boutique version at the Apple Cart Festival.

Candlelit Matinee: Join in the topsy-turvy world of shadows and light that is the Candlelit Matinee. Follow the hand shadow signs and complete each task on their activity trail before being admitted to the final act – your turn in the spotlight on the Candlelit Matinee stage.

Pam Hogg: The oddball fashion icon will be DJing after Bourgeois & Maurice’s set.

Not forgetting our super dooper favourites BOURGEOIS & MAURICE, who will be limbering up for their Soho Theatre Run in September. More info about the festival here. We love these top trumps from their Facebook page…