14.09.09 – Welcome to our weekly Monday guide to Loser Life…it’s a bumper first edition…become our fan on Facebook to get exclusive offers and more…

In Short: a) Subo returns b) Aqua gig f*ck yeah! c) Grand Vintage Ball d) Sounds inc. free Metronomy mp3  e) Zoe Griffin Party animal & lifestyle guru (our new God) f) Credit Crunchers (aka shops) g) Le Grand Macabre (opera, God I know! Let’s do it put ur aria into it) h) Sounds Like Teen Spirit

a) SUBO she comes with ALBUM! her website makes us cry milky tears, the rolling landscapes, the scarf…what more could any discerning human want. Watch her hilariously professional intro vid here. She’s on Radio 2 on Monday 14/09/09. Her web site lovingly produced by Simon Cowell’s anus is so slow to load, coz loadsa Americ*nts are trying to access it to wank over her version of Wild Horses which is apparently #1 song requested at funerals.

b) Aqua‘s first (according to press, not my opinion) UK appearance in batty heaven G-A-Y.  Featuring all of the greatest hits album including Candyman, Doctor Jones, Cartoon Heroes and the unerrably awesome Barbie song. The stage show will be wkd and gays will scream, mmmm. Check out their new video… featuring the lyric of the century…’back when Michael Jackson’s skin was black’ Back to the 80s – New Aqua Single…

…c) The Grand Vintage Ball & Vintage Attire Pageant
The first ever Grand Vintage Ball will be a night of eclectic music from the 1920s-80s, mindboggling feats of derring-do, and decadence.Whilst the powdered preening pansies fight it out at London Fashion week, to see styles plundered from the past, the event will show the real sartorial creativity and design London has to offer. Just like music sampling, which involves rifling through the past with scant regard for periods, styles and eras, the ball will be a non purist homage to the past.

Held in the sumptuous environs of the Rivoli Ballroom in Brockley, South East London, the night is the perfect opportunity for the Retrorati and the Sartorial Intelligentsia to don their best vintage and retro outfits and enter the ultimate Vintage Attire Pageant, where they can be crowned Best In Show with loads of categories including the fabulously titled ‘Dictator’s Wife’.

Comperes on the night will be the fabulous musical duo Bourgeois and Maurice ‘Cabaret never looked so…wrong.’

d) Sounds we like to hum and bop a long to, like penguins.

Gaggle (Pictured) Choir madness from laptop sensation featuring old women rapping in african tribal wear about loving cigarettes…listen here

Metronomy free download of jazzy new song, still can’t believe there’s now a girl in it though

Boy Crisis – Dressed to Digress – catchy choon…one for the mums out there.

The Guild - Do you want to date my avatar? If you’ve ever wanted to date an avatar. If you don’t know what that is you’re such a noob! ROFL!

e) Zoe Griffin (blog) Ever since my ‘cool’ non loser friend recommended this style guru and it-girl, I’ve been pretty unhealthily obsessed. Check her out, her sister’s make up tips are unbeatable and she has a super celeb spotter twitter app which tracks slebs including Gok Wan being in Greenwich Market…

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Joanna Griffin Make-Up- Mascara from Zoe Griffin on Vimeo.

f) Credit crunchers of this week include… Hunky Dory Vintage, a beautiful old shop stuffed full of treats on Brick Lane, don’t worry losers, it’s not Brick Lane and also the most amazing 90s and oddities shop of Philip Normal’s Happy Shack

g) Le Grand Macabre @ Coliseum Great show, bit freaky, cheap tickets, get your opera spex out. Cheap tickets on FB.

h) Sounds Like Teen Spirit is out today, which is a docukiddimentary telling the story of 6 Junior Eurovision hopefuls, tears, smiles and the best soundtrack ever including all the kids’ songs and the joyous Sebastian Tellier. Click the pic to get the DVD cheap. Buy it now!

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ps. If you watch that dreaded telly box watch Warship on 5, it’s amazing Episode 2 is on five.tv and is pretty much tattoed men getting filthy. Hot.

from Loserville with love x

also Ben Lerman will be featured in the next Loser List and if you have any suggestions please email ru@loserville.tv or hit us up on Facebook asap.