So, it pains me to admit that my mission to rob the stores of this great country for all the free stuff I can get is… not going well. Let’s look at who came up with the goods and who failed to deliver:

1. Space NK – eventually got back to me with a shower gel and a letter straight from dullsville.
2. Boots – £20 voucher and a grovelling but uninspired letter
3. Next – a lovely £20 voucher and a forgettable note of apology.
4. Hula Hoops – £2 voucher (hello) and a letter that demonstrated how they simply hadn’t even bothered to read what I wrote to them.
5. Asda – a letter, no frickin’ voucher!
6. KFC – nothing
7. Zara – am I invisible?
8. Topman – last time I shop there.
9. Waterstones – iPad from now on
10. Publishers of the Twilight books – I think I may have scared them.
11. Tesco – Every Little helps my arse.

Finally I think all that is left to do is read the letter I sent to KFC.

Why would they ignore that? You tell me?

Wednesday 28th July 2010.

Dear Sir or Madam,

KFC has been a staple in my diet since my parents and I moved over from Communist Russia in the early eighties. We lived in Blackpool within walking distance of a ‘Kentucky Fried Chicken’ as it was known back then. I used to go along everyday and come back with fried chicken to feed the family.

We did not yet own a Television and my English was limited to ordering food and swearing at the postman (we thought he was breaking in every morning to steal Papas collection of walking sticks). When my English was good enough I joined a school and tasted school dinners. This food tasted more like the food I had in Russia but I still ate it for fear I would be sent to back to a labour camp. I would go home after school and sit with my parents singing songs about the motherland whist eating yet more delicious Fried Chicken. Eventually we got a Television and I truly felt British when we sat down and ate in front of the flickering screen. I liked Noel Edmunds and Jeremy Beadle best of all (I think it was their beards).

KFC was the glue that held us together through those turbulent years. And your handy wipes were what kept us clean until we figured out how to pay the water rates. I wanted to let you know how I sometimes think of the colonel like a kindly Uncle and someone I owe my life to.

Yours Sincerely

Robert Mcaffrey

Watch our fabulous documentary: part 1 below, about the history of the finest alternative gay party which has rocked our socks off for 15 years by the people who made it Simon Casson, Amy Lame and The Readers Wifes…http://www.duckie.co.uk for more info

People with Hop Halos

A Pretty Poodle

Dinosaurs

Blacked up Morris Dancers

Speedster Grannies

A fiery celtic ensemble

and lots more…

See whether you can spot these and many more eccentric peeps and things at our favourite festival…try playing all the videos at once, pure headf*ck!

Loserville was at a loss for what to do yesterday afternoon, after doing some video editing at The Roundhouse Studios for a TOP SECRET LOSERVILLE PROJECT.

So we popped into the local Odeon and made use of our 40% off Vouchercloud offer.

Stocked up on sweet and salty popcorn and vats of fizzy goodness, we settled down for two hours of geekorific entertainment. We giggled and guffawed, swooned over Michael Cera, and loved every minute of it – although HOW CAN FOUR GUYS SHARE A BED AND ALL WEAR T-SHIRTS?! This was the one totally unconvincing and unrealistic element in an otherwise fantastic film.

Go see it!

Unless, like, you already have. Like everyone else by now. Losers.

This is an anthem from the future, its timer counting down backwards to now. And start – the sound is all bells and whistles, woozy and set to a mischievous 2-step bump. Its blue-eyed vocals come from a bedroom, somewhere no doubt in the south of London – I’ve got no bass / to play off / I need a way / to break off. It’s an impassioned plea, a call with response from the plentiful bass around him – more than enough to get off on, let alone break off. Tell me what you need, hey tell me what you need he answers himself with in this sanguine little labyrinth. A 2010 tune.

…

…

Break Off

Gongon – I Could Be There (Well Rounded)

Subdued fanfare synths are reticent as a looped vox in a rut builds up to Gongon’s shackle shaking beats – Tell you I loveyou/I could be there goes the pledge, and the groove, the gravitas, it’s all deadly serious, and Gongon’s euphoria is as essential as Love in Action.

I Could Be There

Deadboy – U Cheated (Well Rounded)

Future blues in 4-D. This is the sound of now and it hurts and it bumps and it trills and it skirts. The young man’s words are encrypted but the subtext is clear – you cheated. Now imagine what that would sound like in a city open wide to night skies and satellites.

U Cheated

Riya – Seems Like (Fabric)
Instra:Mental – From The Start (Fabric)

Segued together on this year’s essential dBridge & Instramental Fabric mix, the former treads in with escalator synths bleeding into the honey voice of Riya, who sounds like the saddest Sugababe in the world. Her plainsong nags like the synth keys into something despondent, before being intertwined with Far East chimes ringing from smokey peaks, heralding some mystical uprising from beneath the streets. You’re lost in soul and wonder.

This dBridge production then switches to From The Start, Riya’s voice still yearning in the distance over the sound of those chimes and a skittish hi-hat jackin rhythm, frail yet as fantastic as capes billowing in slow-motion. Some kind of vortex takes the instrumental for a ride as warm synth pads bring everything to a wind-down plateau, glowing beneath carefully placed steps. Truly genre-less and one of a kind.

Seems Like

From The Start

Scuba – Before (Hotflush)

The shuffling train has left Burialville and ended up in Bristol via Leftfield circa the 1990s. A stark, sombre intercom warning rebounds around inside a clattering industrial space as She’s disembodied through radiophonics and motorways at night. Listen to album cut So You Think You’re Special for more subterranean drama.

Joy Orbison – Hyph Mngo (Hotflush)

All drama and delirium, this is the track which started it all in 2009.  The dawn of time slowly seeps in as an intro before a rave siren beckons Her down to terra firma and the ground just doesn’t let up with the undercurrent beats. You’ll always remember where you were when you first heard this track – time stands still yet hits you flying past in the dark, one vast rush.

Hyph Mngo

Royal to the bone documentary…

Hopelessly Devoted from Tom Levinge on Vimeo.

Thanks to David Wilson for this one…

Diana Panties

from Copyranter blog: The company, Jealousy International, ad-launched the Diana® line of unmentionables on the anniversary of the death of the Princess of Wales (yesterday) with billboards across the country, according to The Daily Mail. The copy translates: “Feel the romance of British royalty.” Aw, she’s wearing a tiara. Classy.

THE GLORIFIED £ SHOP 17 – 23 SEPTEMBER | 11AM TO 7PM DAILY – Downstairs @ MAIDEN |188 Shoreditch High Street London E1 6HU 0207 998 0185 | info@maidenshop.com | WWW.MAIDENSHOP.COM

About the Glorified £ Shop

During London Fashion Week The Glorified £ Shop will be taking over the basement of Shoreditch’s favourite store MAIDEN. London legend and music editor of i-D Magazine Princess Julia has assembled a vintage “A Team” consisting of Josh Quinton, Hannah Hooper, Felicity Hayward and Lilee Cathcart who have searched far and wide to source a breathtaking array of original and specialist vintage pieces to entice and amuse one and all.

Clothing, shoes and accessories from 60’s, 70’s, 80’s, 90’s and 00’s have been especially selected for this unique house of design. The Glorified £ Shop is an ideal opportunity to source and be inspired by styles and looks of by gone eras.

Princess Julia said “The interest in retro and recycled style has never been more inspiring; by mixing the traditional with the radical- the trad with the rad- style icons of London have never been more vibrant and varied. At The Glorified £ Shop we hope to reveal the secrets of developing personal style with a twist and with prices starting from £1 they’ll be something to suit budgets big and small”.

Each day they will be having an in-store ‘happening’

*Friday September 17^th Acclaimed performance artist Scottee will be performing a concept piece every 15 minutes. Times to be confirmed.

*Vintage Hair Dresser Sami Knight will be dressing hair. £15.00 for a new you!

*Jeanette, (James Main) style icon and owner of Jeanette’s store will be conducting catwalk lessons in store!

More events will be announced soon….

About MAIDEN

Opened in November 2009 MAIDEN sits comfortably opposite the imposing Tea Building on Shoreditch High Street, MAIDEN is simply a really great shop with a mission to sell nice things to nice people. Maiden is a shop that has everything you would ever want, yet not necessarily need, the little things that make your life nicer and brighter.

There is an indulgence of modern design items with a humorous touch. Speakers that look like huge iPod earphones share shelf space with giant Miffy lights and the ‘Mix Tape’ USB stick packaged like a cassette. Customers are also presented with a passionately edited selection of books that garner the attention of readers young and old. On offer you will discover sartorial advice from Christian Dior in Little Dictionary of Fashion, visual inspiration from Susan Sontag’s classic On Photography and cooking lessons for the under 12s in Silver Spoon recipes for Children. There is even a Yves Saint Laurent colouring book!

From the Friday 17th September for one week only The Glorified £ Shop!

Opening Soiree Thursday 16^th September 6 till 8pm with an after party at Fun City, George & Dragon, 2-4 Hackney Road. 8-12 midnight!

Income support:

You must be aged 16-60 and meet one of the conditions for eligibility such as being a lone parent or carer. You can work part time up to 16 hours a week on Income support. How to claim: call Jobcentre Plus on 0800 055 66 88.

Income based Jobseeker’s Allowance (IBJSA):

Is to provide a minimum  level of income for basic living expenses if you do not qualify for Income support. You must demonstrate you are capable of and seeking work and not have more than £16000 in savings capital. How to claim: call Jobcentre Plus on 0800 055 66 88.

Working Tax Credit:

You may qualify if you are on a low income, the amount depends on how many hours you work, the level of income, whether you have a disability and whether you have children. You  may qualify if you: work 16 hours a week and are either: responsible for a child, have a disability, over 50 returning to work or are over 25 or over and work at least 30 hours a week.

Council Tax Benefit:

If you qualify for any of the above you normally get 100% of the council tax paid. How to claim: ask your local authority Housing benefit office for a claim form and return it.

Housing Benefit:

If you get any of the above benefits you should qualify for 100% of the Housing Benefit. How to claim: ask your local authority Housing benefit office for a claim form and return it.

DWP Social Fund:

The Discretionary Social fund can provide loans and grants usually to people on other benefits listed above.

More information can be found by contacting/visiting:

Direct.gov.uk: http://www.direct.gov.uk

Citizens’ Advice: 020 7833 2181 http://www.adviceguide.org.uk

Loserville invites you to:

A secret party for the prelaunch of OMG London – creative agency and venue (please note the venue is separate from the Old Shoreditch Station) It’s free to get in! Nearest tubes: Shoreditch High Street/Old Street check out the facebook event here

Come and see the incredible Nevada Base (Glasweigan Electro-POP genius) who we’ve imported from Scotland, check out our article on them here: http://loserville.tv/2010/08/nevada-base/

FREE GIVEAWAYS FROM OUR FRIENDS AT GREAT SHOPS AND BRANDS! FREE GREAT PEOPLE! | FREE LIVE MUSIC! | FREE DJs THAT PLAY STUFF YOU LOVE BUT HAVEN’T HEARD FOR AGES | FREE BADGES! | FREE JELLY!

We’re launching a hot new creative agency and venue called OMG…be there before the press and public get wind of it. NB this event is strictly for those who want to be ahead of the game of the future of the creative industries in the UK. We’ll be unveiling the logo, the website, the venue plans and also the programme for the opening.

Come and see the incredible Nevada Base who we’ve imported from Scotland, check out our article on them here: http://loserville.tv/2010/08/nevada-base/

And loads more super acts and artists to meet and pleasure you!

As if you needed more…if you do let us know and we’ll oblige…if you’re good…RSVP soon to guarantee free entry email: ru@loserville.tv or leave a comment on this page

http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=102149516511592

BE THE FUTURE, BE A LOSER!

http://loserville.tv/

http://www.facebook.com/loservilletv