A John Waters Christmas

5 December 2011 | Royal Festival Hall

“a night of anti-Xmas revelry”

Brigitte Aphrodite’s Merry Kissmass

8 December 2011 | The Slaughtered Lamb

“Mega good stuff!”

Loserville has been properly getting into the festive swing of things this December – first up was A John Waters Christmas at the Royal Festival Hall, where Baltimore’s finest cult film director took to the stage to share caustic one-liners, scabrous anecdotes, and general Xmas filth.

Loserville has got a bit of a thing for John Waters – we worship at the altar of Pecker (“Pubic hair causes crime”), Cry Baby (“God’s in her gullet. And he’s in yours, too!”) and Serial Mom (“Serial Mom is headed South on Ceswick. Proceed with caution. She is armed and fuckin’ nuts!”).

So it was great to spend a couple of hours in the  presence of the genius behind so many of our favourite films. And we weren’t the only ones – it felt like all the gays of London town had made the trip to the Southbank Centre for this night of anti-Xmas revelry.

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One of our Bestival highlights this year was definitely the stage invasion of the Bandstand stage, invited and encouraged by Brigitte Aphrodite. So we were really excited to celebrate Kissmass with her and her friends and The Slaughtered Lamb.

First up we had some ace piano tunes from Sean Pol McGreevy, and then some amazing beat boxing from Hectic. And then it was time for the star of the show…

Brigitte took to the stage with her amazing choir, and made our Christmas with a mix-up of some of our fave Brigitte songs, a Spice Girls cover, and a little bit of Stay Another Day and All I want For Christmas (Is You) thrown in! Mega good stuff!

It was all wrapped up with a rendition of Brigitte’s own Merry Kissmass, and we were all singing along by the end (it’s amazing what a combo of catchy music and a few pints of cider does to you…).

Perfect Christmas fun!

Our pick of the month is Brian Lobel’s Cruising for Art, a suspiciously non-Xmas event. If you’re feeling festive try BAC, BGWMC, Duckie’s Copyright Christmas, Drink Shop & Do and much more…read on Scrooge, read on…

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Christmas Cook Up Season @ Battersea Arts Centre | 1st-31stDecember | Various Times | £Various

 BAC presents a delightful festive festival packed with emerging theatre developed on site, including theatre, music, words, food & drink. Our pick of the pops includes: “Bluebeard“ - a dark cabaret fairytale about a nobleman in the habit of murdering his wives; and renegade theatre troupe Little Bulb’s “The Mother of All Goose Parties” – a musical journey/party.

Christmas Open Studios @ Cockpit Arts | 2nd-4th December | Free

  Don’t Argos it! Buy something truly unique from Cockpit Arts’ supremely talented bunch of crafty creatives. Choose from fashion accessories, homewares and much more as you enjoy some lovely food courtesy of Handmade Food, or enter the prize draw to win handmade Christmas decorations made by CA’s talented designers. 

Bethnal Green Working Mens Club Xmas Season @ BGWMC | 3rd-17th December | Various Times | £Various

 Come to the venue where it’s so camp, it’s Christmas all year round! Highlights of their awesome Christmas parties include: Coney Island Christmas Party (inspired by the kookiest car-crash beach resort that is Coney Island N.Y.) on the 3rd December; Dirty Fan Male (based on real letters sent to porn stars) on the 14th December; and the Cream Revue Christmas Party.

Canadian Blast vs Oui Love @ Rich Mix | 5th December | 19:30 | Free

Oui fell in love with ‘Oui Love’ at the Institut Francais, where we bopped insanely to their latest compilation of French future mega-hits. We can’t wait to hear Zooey at RichMix.

Amateur Transplants @ Lyric Theatre | 5th December | 20:00 | £22.50

Ok we admit it, we are totally obsessed with musical comedy – we write about it more than anything else on the site. See some cream-of-the-crop musical comedy at the luscious Lyric Theatre, full of witty puns and laugh out loud mayhem from YouTube stars, Amateur Transplants.

Robyn Hood @ The RVT | 7th & 28th-30th December | Various Times | £8.50

We went to the RVT Panto last year and saw stripping, beautiful rhyming song with Marcus Reeves and trannies. This year we expect nothing less.

Brian Lobel’s Cruising for Art @ Vogue Fabrics | 9th December | 20:00-22:00 | £5

 Unbelievably brilliant and irreverently sleazy event where audience members have to cruise an audacious array of artists in order to gain access to intimate, one on one performances – all over 4 floors of the Vogue Fabrics mansion. The line up for this round includes Bryony Kimmings, Tui’s Nail Bar (Tui is an emerging artist – just 10 years old!), Eirini Kartsaki, Mamoru Iriguchi, Rachel Gomme, Catherine Long, The Famous Lauren Barri Holstein, Timberlina (as Tim Redfern), GraceLes and Owen Parry.

Duckie Copyright Christmas and Duckie Christmas Market @ The Barbican | 10th-30th December | Various Times | £19.99

We are very impressed to see that those fabulous Duckie people have infiltrated the usually-clean Barbican website with falling snow. Pretty! In their latest interactive charade, featuring Scottee & Harrold Offeh, the collective express their dissatisfaction with the commercialism of Christmas. We feel the same! Then, after you’ve got all ruffled by the performance, explore the Duckie Christmas Market for offbeat treats from independent sellers who love a chat.

The Joy of Sketch @ Lyric Theatre | 12th December | 19:30 | £17.50-£38.50

 Sketch comedy is a Loserville favourite genre, and we are happy that Time Out got its thinking cap on and put on this festive frollic with some of the best troupes around. Including Late Night Gimp Fight, Idiots of Ants, The Pajama Men and Two Episodes of Mash.

Bourgeois & Maurice: Fa La La La La @ Soho Theatre | 14th December – 7th January | 21:45 | £10-£15

Christmas cheer not quite grabbed you? Perfect! Come and join LV faves Bourgeois and Maurice for their festive (?) Christmas spectacular. Expect: hilarity, doom mongering and costume changes (we hope!).

The Xmas Starty @ Soho Theatre | 14th-23rd December | Various Times | £15

Soho Theatre says: “The most bizarre office Christmas party you will ever attend.” We say: “Bring it on babycakes!”. Dress up in your frump chic and enjoy the music, passion, laughs, games, dances, prizes and crafting.

Inappropriate Christmas Card Making @ Drink, Shop & Do | 21st December | 20:00ish | Free (well, you have to buy a drink…)

This cute cafe in Kings Cross presents great participatory events including knit-ins, musical bingo and inappropriate Xmas fun. Don’t miss this hidden gem…

Part 1

Ok, look, apologies straight away to you non-London Losers (nLL’s). We’d love to have articles about all the fun/cheesey/tacky things to do at Christmas in Hull, Totnes and Stourbridge, but we don’t really think we could do it justice. So here’s a shout-out straight away to you nLL’s – get in touch with Loserific things to do in your towns/cities/forest clearings, and we’ll spread the word!

Ok, so Part 1 is all about…

Ice Skating Somewhere Other Than Somerset House or Hyde Park

Loserville occasionally decides that it’s time to give everyone a good laugh, and straps on the ice skates for an hour or so of stagger-slide-stumble-fall, or as professionals call it, Ice Skating. But Somerset House and Hyde Park are a bit predictable aren’t they?

There are lots of places to choose from over the festive period, but here are two:

Hampton Court Palace Ice Rink is probably as spectacular a setting as you’re going to find, and Hampton Court is easily accessible by train from Waterloo.

They say: “Put your ear muffs, gloves and skates on, grab someone’s hand and have some fun this Christmas.”

We say: It looks pretty awesome at night, but if you’re feeling energetic, why not skate at lunchtime and then walk along the river to Richmond. It’s 7 miles or so, but when you get there you can head into The Roebuck for a booze, some grub, and one of the best views in London.

November 26th – January 8th (but not Christmas Day!)

Canary Wharf Ice Rink might seem like an odd choice, but it tends to be a little quieter than the rest and it gives you an excuse to do two things on a cold, crisp December evening:

First, you can arrive by boat, catching the Thames Clipper to Canary Wharf Pier (which is the best way to travel through London when it’s lit up like a Christmas tree).

Then, after skating you can ride the worlds slowest and least undulating rollercoaster (the DLR) down to Cutty Sark (which still isn’t there) and then walk along past the Naval College to one of our favourite pubs - The Trafalgar Tavern.

November 12th – February 29th

EastEnd Cabaret: The Revolution Will Be Sexual

24-26 November 2011 | Arcola Tent

“super-brill, twenty-seven stars” 

Eat Your Heart Out Presents…Violence

17-26 November 2011 | Riverside Studios

“Hair pulling, arm bruising, scream-out-loud-in-pain brilliance” 

Dracula: Sex, Sucking & Stardom

15 November-3 December 2011 | Hen & Chickens Theatre

“a thoroughly chucklesome…cheeky-chappy of a  three-man show” 

Having recovered from our summer tent experiences, Loserville was ready to get back under canvas… so long as that canvas also had under it a promise of fun times (and a bar)…

The Arcola Tent didn’t disappoint and, as we didn’t have to sleep in it (on a slope, blood rushing to head, with rain dripping on our faces), we were all the merrier. Bottle of wine secured, we snaffled a table, ready to enjoy EastEnd Cabaret‘s latest offering – an evening of saucy songs, “too-much-info” tales, gin-soaked musing on sex, love and, erm, communism… and a massage from a (puppet) monkey. Super-brill, twenty-seven stars.

Favourite Song: Danger Wank

Favourite Instrument: Kazoo

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We don’t make trips to Hammersmith without good reason (nothing against Hammersmith, it’s just a bit of a trek from Loserville HQ)…

But when it’s to see an Eat Your Heart Out ‘show’, at the swanky Riverside Studios (we’d tell you about the (probably) great food in the restaurant, but we couldn’t get a table grrr), then we can make the effort.

Confrontational, thought-provoking stuff, with amazing performances and great music… well, that sentence just doesn’t do it justice. Violence isn’t really a show at all, it’s an experience. Love it or loathe it, or fall somewhere in between, Violence will make you think. We like thinking.

You won’t find a better cast of cabaret performers: Scottee, Dickie Beau, Miss Annabel Sings, Nando Messias, Masumi Tipsy, Helen Noir, Spencer Wood and Rachel Porter… If you want more than that, you’re a greedy bastard. Just be prepared – it’s not pretty.

Hair pulling, arm bruising, scream-out-loud-in-pain brilliance.

See this if you like: The Care Bears Movie*

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Loserville HEARTS the Hen & Chickens Theatre! The bar staff complimented our glasses, which is always a good start… No “good glasses beer discount” mind, they should work on that…

We were in the North (of London) to catch Dracula: Sex, Sucking & Stardom, a thoroughly chucklesome jaunt through Bram Stoker’s classic bloodsucker romp. This is a cheeky-chappy of a  three-man show which shows just enough respect to the original story, whilst dropping in some inspired re-worked songs (a Bublé ‘classic’ stole the show for our audience) and shamelessly meddling with the well-known material (here, Dracula wants to star in an Andrew Lloyd Webber musical!).

Daft and dippy, and comfortingly accessible – perfect for letting your hair down and having a good old guffaw. Oh, but you might need an umbrella. That’s all we’re saying.

*…and need a reality check :p

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Loserville thought it very necessary to bring these two offbeat documentary films to your esteemed attention. The first being about the kitsch-come-cool instrument of choice the Ukulele, and the second charting the history of the Alternative Miss World Pageant. Read on dear friend, read on!

Mighty Uke (The Amazing Comeback of a Musical Underdog)

Fri 25 Nov  - Hackney Picturehouse, London | Sat 26 November – Clapham Picturehouse | Sun 27 November – The Lexi, Kensal Rise  | www.mightyukemovie.com

We loved that this uniquely brilliant instrument is having a bit of a renaissance here in the U(ke)K, with star turns including Ukees at Bar Kick, the fab Brockley Ukulele Orchestra, and the rather super Ukulele events website Mighty Ukulele. Now, Tony Coleman and Margaret Meagher’s award-winning documentary Mighty Uke travels the world to discover why so many people of different nations, cultures and ages are turning to the phenomenon that is ukulele.

“From the Redwoods of California through the gritty streets of New York, from swinging London through Tokyo’s high rise canyons to Hawaii, MIGHTY UKE tells the story of the people’s instrument.”

Here’s the trailer for your amusement…

The British Guide to Showing Off

Until Thu 24th Nov at the ICA | http://www.ica.org.uk/30622/Film/The-British-Guide-to-Showing-Off.html 

After visiting the infamous Alternative Miss World show last year at the Roundhouse, where Fancy Chance won hanging from her hair (yeah, that’s right, HANGING FROM HER HAIR), we can’t wait to go to the cinema to discover the fabulous history of this cultural institution led by Andrew Logan.

Here’s what they say about it and the trailer is below…

“Andrew Logan. British Artist. Living legend. And creator of the anarchic and utterly outrageous Alternative Miss World Show, a spectacular costume pageant and fancy dress party for grown ups. In The British Guide to Showing Off, director Jes Benstock takes us under Logan’s glittering wing to take an joyous look at this most quirky and exotic subculture event.

Loved the world over by celebrities and misfits alike, Logan has hosted the Alternative Miss World Show since 1972. Memorable highlights include artist David Hockney judging the first one, musician David Bowie not being able to get into the second, film director Derek Jarman winning the third and triumphing in a court case against the Official Miss World (with a little help from a young Tony Blair).

Featuring contributions from Brian Eno, Ruby Wax, fashionista Zandra Rhodes (who designed all of Andrew’s hostess costumes), Richard O’Brien, Nick Rhodes and Grayson Perry, The British Guide to Showing Off was filmed over 5 years, charting the mounting of the 2009 Show, bringing to life its history through newly discovered archive, exuberant animation, and plenty of offbeat humour from contestants old and new.

Raucous, liberating and sexually charged, The British Guide to Showing Off speaks to the outsider in all of us. For anyone who has ever wanted to break out.”

Boy meets boy, boy tries to seduce boy at urinals, boys wake up together, boys do drugs… There’s not a travel bookshop or a blue door in sight – just a bitter-sweet tale of love lost and found. This is Weekend.

They say: “On a Friday night after hanging out with his straight mates, Russell heads out to a nightclub,
alone and on the pull. Just before closing time he picks up Glen. And so begins a weekend – in
bars and in bedrooms, getting drunk and taking drugs, telling stories and having sex – that will
resonate throughout their lives.”

We say: Loserville couldn’t believe it. The Covent Garden Odeon foyer was rammed, bursting at the seams with punters waiting to catch Weekend, the second feature film from director Andrew Haigh. Weekend premiered at the SXSW Film Festival back in March (winning the Emerging Visions Audience Award), and we’ve been hearing nothing but great things about it ever since. But this felt like the midnight screening of the latest Batman film – it was so great to see that essentially a low-budget, non-mainstream indie-film could attract such a massive audience. The cinema staff were clearly taken by surprise by the sheer numbers, and Loserville had to do a little sprint to get a good seat.

The signs were promising – during its US festival run, the film picked up the Grand Jury Prize and Best Actor Award at the Nashville Film Festival and the Grand Jury Prize at Outfest in Los Angeles, in addition to its initial success at SXSW.

And finally, with the fab Peccadillo Pictures distributing, Weekend made its UK theatrical debut this month.

In the words of director Andrew Haigh, the main characters Russell and Glen (relative newcomers Tom Cullen and Chris New) “are two people navigating through life in very different ways but both are looking for same thing – to find their place within the world around them. They are trying to work out who they are, what they want and how they should define themselves, in private as well as in public.”

This is an honest, intimate and authentic love story, in the way that Richard Curtis films (note: I’m actually quite partial to Notting Hill) aren’t. There is no glamorisation of love here. Instead, Weekend is love at it’s most recognizable – surprising, occasionally painful, confusing, intoxicating…  As Haigh puts it, “that feeling of both fear and excitement that comes with the possibility of something new.”

As Russell and Glen are thrown together by fate, and spend the weekend in each others company, we witness those awkward, tantalising moments as two people truly start to engage with one another, and through this engagement, begin to focus on the struggles each of them face.

This is a film with two central gay characters, but is not just a gay film. It is a story of two people coming to terms with difference, with not quite fitting in. Whilst this manifests itself in Weekend through sexuality, Haigh is clear that “you don’t need to be gay to be strugling with isses of authenticity and self-definition, and of course at the heart of Weekend is a story of two people falling in love with each other.”

For us, Haigh hits the target spot-on. This is a grown-up, honest, compelling account of love and life over the space of one (pretty drug-fuelled) weekend. Cullen and New are excellent as Russell and Glen, and the tone is refreshing – there are no last-minute chases to stop a wedding/stop someone from catching a plane/crash a press conference, although there are some witty references to such things.

Weekend is all about what actually happens, all the time. It’s about human nature, individuality, difference, and belonging. It’s about discovering who you are, and leaping into the unknown.

It’s pretty fucking great.

Weekend is showing now at Odeon Covent Garden, Apollo Piccadilly Circus, Brixton Ritzy & HMV Curzon Wimbledon

Also, from November 11th at Odeon Studio, Richmond, & Gate Cinema, Notting Hill

And finally, November 25th-December 1st at Hackney Picturehouse

Remember, remember the month of November

We believe November is shaping up to be slightly wonderful actually. This To Do List of joy includes Wunderbar Festival, Dracula: Sex, Sucking and Stardom, GFEST, Scottee’s ‘Violence’, La Soiree, Paintworks, EastEnd Cabaret and much more.

Wunderbar Festival @ Newcastle | Until 6 November | Various Times | £Various, inc. FREE stuff

 Ok so this is not strictly in London (in the same way that New York isn’t strictly in Mexico), but we believe the Wunderbar festival is totally worth a road/rail/air-trip! This year the odd and quirky performance festival is back with an interactive bang, it’s all about you! Our top picks include Bring a Pet (to make a makeshift zoo), Work-a-thon (the world record for the largest gathering of self-employed people working together) and the Human Library.

Black Pond @ The Prince Charles Cinema | 11-17 November | 19:00 | £6-10

Micro-budget? Check. Award-winning comedian making film debut? Check. Disgraced TV actor? Check. We’ve all had bad dinner party experiences, but this should reassure most of us that it could be a lot worse… ”The Thompson family is accused of murder when a stranger dies at their dinner table. Six months later, family friend Tim visits freelance therapist Dr Eric Sacks (Simon Amstell) and the story finds its way to the press. The facts are bent and the details spun as the Thompsons become known to the public as ‘The Family of Killers’”. Puts Bridget’s blue soup into perspective, eh?

Future Shorts Film Festival @ Hackney Picturehouse | 14 November | 18:45 | £10

From the creators of Secret Cinema comes the first global film festival where anyone can take part. Find out how to take part here.  Future Shorts’ defining format showcases a single programme of the best short films from around the world often alongside live music, DJs and art.

Dracula: Sex, Sucking and Stardom @ Hen & Chickens Theatre | 15 November – 3 December | 19:30 | £11.50

Divinely silly infusion of  music, naughtiness and slapstick, not forgetting Dracula. The story goes like this: “Jonathan Harker is tempted by the evil Count and a love of all things showbiz. But will he overcome temptation and stop Dracula’s vile plans to marry Lucy, take over the world and star in an Andrew Lloyd Webber musical? The stakes are high, but if they win the day they shall rid the world of a villain and be immortalised in drama by actors in north London…”. We think this will be strangely wonderful.

EastEnd Cabaret: The Revolution Will Be Sexual / Freeze @ Arcola Tent | 13 & 16-25 November | 20:30 | £12

Forget the West End, there’s a lot of great performance mayhem coming from East Laandon of late. The Arcola Tent is the new outdoor comedy & cabaret hub in Dalston, which is going to cause a storm. Our highlights include the fabulous East End Cabaret, whose filthy Weimar charm has warmed our cold winter’s hearts, time and time again (be sure to request LV’s favourite song ‘Dangerwank’, hehe).  Also coming up is Freeze, which pairs two of our favourite oddballs, Tim Key (poet extraordinaire) and Tom Basden (geeky musical raconteur).

GFest @ The Cockpit Theatre | 17 – 19 November | Various Times | £7-15

A great mini festival focussed on the best of LGBT arty turns, GFEST is a platform for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender (LGBT) and queer artists, organisations and venues to promote LGBT and queer arts. GFEST features established alongside fresh or young LGBT artists and queer talent across the arts, including visual arts, theatre, dance and performance, LGBT short films, debates, workshops and parties.

Same Place Different Faces @ Idea Generation Gallery | 17-20 November | FREE

Paintworks presents an exhibition reconnecting with all the people who have worked in the well-known art shop in Dalston. The exhibition will showcase the extraordinary and diverse talents of 45 artists in the Ideas Generation Gallery on Redchurch Street. Our favourites (not that we have favourites) are Marcus Hessenberg, Liam Scully, Tabitha Fedden and Roy Willingham.

Eat Your Heart Out Presents… Violence @ Riverside Studios | 17-26 November | 20:00 | £10

We’re very excited that this whirlwind of a show returns to London. The genre-defying Eat Your Heart Out collective present their examination of the tougher side of life: violent vignettes, disorderly displays and spitting. In a world of gloss this challenging, entertaining and anarchic romp should not be missed.

Handmade & Bound - The Affordable London Book-Art & Zine Fair @ St Bride’s | 20 November | 12:00-18:00 | FREE

We heart zines! Let’s go and buy some together! This event at St Bride’s promises to be a charming festival of artistic DIY talent.

La Soiree @ The Roundhouse | 23 November Onwards | Various Times | From £15

The original cabaret spectacular returns to the Roundhouse for the ultimate Christmas Party with a bang. This year features Chris Iris (boy/girl acrobatics), Le Gateau Chocolat (Black Tranny Opera Star), Katharine Arnold, Hugo Desmarais (aerial performer in a cage), Mario (Queen of the Circus), Nate Cooper, The Skating Willers and Yulia Pykhtina (Hula-hooper Supremo).

Carl-Einar Hackner: Swedish Meatballs @ Soho Theatre | 28 November – 3 December | 22:00 | £10-17.50

The best bad magician since Tommy Cooper comes to the seedy Soho Theatre for some hilarious high jinks. Featuring his unique brand of endearing buffoonery, magical mayhem, lightning-fast humour, silly songs and very expensive props.

We’ve had a busy two weeks, and we’re really sorry we’ve been a bit slow to keep you all updated… But it’s never too late, so here’s a quick round-up of some of the cool things we’ve seen and done over the last two weeks:

Some good solid stereotype slaying was on the cards at The V&A, as the Talawa Theatre Company brought to life George C. Wolfe’s The Colored Museum.

Written in America in 1986, and performed regularly ever since, The Colored Museum is a series of living exhibits which explore African-American identity by way of consigning stereotypes to the archives.

For sure, some of the cultural references may have been lost on a British audience, and it’s nice to think that attitudes have changed over the last 25 years to the extent that some of the stereotypes presented are not as recognisable as they may have been a decade or more ago.

Nevertheless, The Colored Museum remains an important theatre experience, and it still has something to say to a contemporary audience. The entire cast approached the piece fearlessly and with mountains of energy, and dealt effortlessly with the often swift changes in mood and tone.

We’d be hard-pressed to choose a favourite exhibit, but two highlights spring to mind: a hilarious skit where a woman, preparing to break up with her boyfriend, is confronted by two loud-mouthed wigs, each arguing their case for being the chosen head-ware for such an occasion; and a musical parody of a cookery show, where the host sings through the recipe for baking “a batch of Negroes”, peaking with the fabulous line “add some attitude – Oops! I put too much”.

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Things were pretty crazy/cool at Rich Mix in Shoreditch, for the London premiere of Japanese pink musical Underwater Love. We’ve got an interview with Stereo Total in the pipeline (they did the ace music), and there’ll be a proper review for the DVD release.

Suffice to say, this a one weird but wonderful film experience, the like of which Loserville has never experienced before. Song, dance, and girl-on-sea-creature rumpy pumpy.

Loserville, nothing if not diverse :)

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You might raise your eyebrows, but South Kensington is a great place for evenings of quirky fun. It may be home to more museums and geeky science students than you can shake a Loserville stick at, but we love the Lates put on by The Science Museum, The Natural History Museum and The V&A amongst others, and even more so, we love the events at The Institut Francais.

We popped down to the latter for a fancy-dress screening of the iconic Barbarella, followed by a geek-chic cosmic party which defied explanation. Ace fun!
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Interactive theatre is everywhere right now (check out our feature article on the explosion of what we like to call 4D Theatre), and Office Party at The Pleasance Theatre Islington (running until late-January 2012) is a pretty ace example of the genre.

You can’t beat a concoction of party games, spot-on characterisation, top-class cabaret and an authentic setting, and any show that encourages its audience to get stuck into the booze is tops in our book. Check out the 4D Theatre article for more info…

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And finally, we popped into KOKO to catch one of our favourite bands of the last 12 months or so, Gabby Young & Other Animals.

We last saw Gabby et al at the Barbican last year, and if their regular appearances on our Facebook news feed are anything to go by, they’ve not stopped touring since.

Great tunes, great musicality, awesome dancing, and buckets full of personality – we love this band, and can’t wait to see them again.

In fact, they’re back at the Royal Festival Hall on November 19th supporting Emir Kusturica & The No Smoking Orchestra.

And if that’s not enough, there’s a new album out in December. Gabby, you spoil us.

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This winter, hold on tight for the ride of your life! Away from the West End lots of strange and amazing stuff going on. This article lets you in on the secrets of these down right extraordinary experiences that may just change your very being (or may just give you a great night out). Read on…we dare you!

Office Party

25 October-21 January 2011 | Product Solutions Head Office, Islington | More Info

Basically be prepared for the office party to beat all office parties. And the best thing, of course, is that your actions won’t come back to haunt you when you get back to your desk the next morning!

We’ll admit it, we were slightly apprehensive about the possible audience interaction in this Office Party extravaganza until we met Cath, our line manager for the evening. As we had dressed down (on purpose…) we were selected as part of the domestic services team at ‘Product Solutions’, and after greeting us and our cleaning colleagues, Cath took us aside into the  storage room and thanked us for all of our hard work over the difficult year. Then it was off to the main party room, where we rejoined the rest of the workforce.

We had a rollicking working class time at this incredibly conceived party show. From meeting the slimey, self interested CEO, dancing like maniacs, to playing party games en mass. The cabaret turns and ensemble cast were brilliantly outrageous and the drinks were flowing. The best office party we ever went to, and no risk of making any career limiting mistakes.

PS We think this would be a great night for groups of friends, and maybe even real office parties. It would be great to see real life management being told they’re in Domestic Services!

Copyright Christmas by Duckie

10-31 December 2011 | Barbican | More Info

They say: “Capitalism is collapsing and the criminal economy is taking over… so let’s go shopping! 

Step inside the Duckie superstore and witness the decaying arcades of branded Britain. Conspicuous consumption thrives in this promenade performance featuring saucy shopaholics, supermarket sweepers and sweatshop santas. Purchase your dreams – love, peace and happiness – all boxed up as consumer durables.

In an age when we know the Katie Price of everything and the value of nothing, this rollicking good romp asks: Does Christmas mean more than shopping?”

We say: “Finally someone is challenging that beast of Christmas Commodity, and who better to do it than Duckie! We expect a whirlwind of interactive performance mayhem in the rather huge Barbican Theatre featuring our favourite transfabulous beauties, Scottee and Harold Offeh. Also don’t miss the Duckie Christmas Market, which is taking place in the foyer for truly unique and wonderful handmade Christmas gifts for the whole family.”

You Me Me Bum Bum Train

Coming very soon (before Christmas) Dates TBC | Unknown location (probably in East London) | More Info

After our rip-roaring experience acting in the show last year, we look forward to experiencing for ourselves the impossible to describe rollercoaster ride of the show. If you’ve not heard of it, check out the video testimonials below.

Now, remember when we said it was impossible to describe? Well, we like a challenge, so…

The show basically puts the audience in a huge number of out-of-this-world, out-of-your-comfort-zone situations, in an ultra-realistic set populated by 200 incredible volunteer performers. Last year, scenes involved burglary, team-talks, preaching, book-signings, karaoke and more! And you face it all on your own, as the audience ‘ride’ the train one by one.

Like their Facebook page hereto make sure you hear about tickets first…and also why not be part of it, by becoming a performer, helping build the set or spreading the word…email YMBBT to get involved: youmebumbumtraincast@gmail.com.

Let’s dance our socks off! Tonight at Push the Button at the Royal Vauxhall Tavern. More details on their Facebook event here.

We’re too busy planning our outfit and finding suitable requests to write a proper article so here’s what they say:

“IF YOU’RE A FLY GAL GET YOUR NAILS DONE, GET A PEDICURE, GET YOUR HAIR DID because London’s PREMIER POP PARTY is BACK AT THE RVT on FRIDAY 30th SEPT, 9pm – 3am!

From Robyn & Gaga to Aqua & Schlager, PUSH THE BUTTON is a celebration of the last 2 decades of POP! We’ll be playing ALL THE HITS: synths, guitars, keytars, drum-machines, girl bands, boy bands, impossible princesses – it’s a glamophonic, electronic, d-d-disco baby!

Pics of the last event are here: http://www.facebook.com/kyliecocktails?sk=photos

So… what’s happening this month?

DJs – HITS&MRS with guests KNITOLA ROBERTS (Purls Aloud) and DJ BJ will be playing ALL KILLER, NO FILLER.

LIVE ON STAGE @ MIDNIGHT: HARRY CLAYTON-WRIGHT in WHAT HAPPENED TO MY SWEET BEYONCE?

★ BADGES, POSTERS, CUDDLY-TOYS, TOBLERONES… Y’know, THE USUAL NONSENSE ★
★ LOUIS WALSH’S LITTLE BOYS ROOM ★
★ DANIEL CLATWORTHY’S CHER + WINONA MERMAID MAKEOVERS ★
★ HARPER SEVEN’S LITTLE GUCCI DRESS BABY SHOWER ★
★ BELINDA CARLISLE’S BRIXTON BAKE-OFF (RIOT CAKES) ★
★ GAGA: ALL THE HITS ★
★ CUDDLY BEARS (…IN VESTS) ★
★ BUBBLY IN THE FRIDGE ★
★ A LINKIN PARK SONG! IKR!? ★

PLUS more to be announced, and surprises on the night…

♫♪ Disc 1 (The Nineties):

Salt ‘n’ Pepa, Belinda, Madonna, Paula, Janet, Sonique, Cher, Missy, Cathy, Louise, Betty Boo, Billie, Wilson Phillips, Deuce, En Vogue, Destiny’s Child, Pet Shop Boys, Alliyah, TLC, Eternal, Ace of Base, Shakespeares Sister, Mel C, Roxette, Corona, KLF, Love City Groove, Oceanic, All Saints, The Cardigans, B*Witched, Backstreet Boys…

♫♪ Disc 2 (The Noughties):

Robyn, Nicola, Annie, Dannii, Kylie, Gaga, Kelis, Pixie, Marina, Rihanna, Rachel, VV, Shakira, Lily, Katy, La Roux, Scooch, Alphabeat, Little Boots, Alcazar, Yelle, Ke$ha, MIA, Sleigh Bells, Goldfrapp, Scissor Sisters, Le Tigre, Ting Tings, Sebastien Teller, Dizzee, P!nk, Pussycat Dolls…

Leave your POP PRETENTIONS at home!

Please note: try and get here early – the last party was so rammed we had to close the doors at 1am. Once we hit capacity we can’t let any more of you in :P

9PM UNTIL THE WORLD ENDS (3AM)
All this for the same price as a Britney’s Greatest HITS in HMV: £5.

Our website: www.hits.li
email us: DJS@hits.li

The Royal Vauxhall Tavern
372 Kennington Lane, London SE11 5HY

ALL BUS, NO FUSS: 2, 36, 77,87,88, 187, 344, 360, 436 (NIGHTBUSES:) N2, N36, N344, N87, N88

MIND THE GAP: Vauxhall Station (zone 1) on the Victoria Line. Exit the Station Via Exit 1 and turn right under the tunnel, walk to the end and turn right again, The RVT is the big, gorgeous victorian pub in front of you!

TRAIN COMES BUT WE KNOW ITS DESTINATION: Vauxhall Station situated next door to the tube and bus station, this line runs to and from Waterloo station/Clapham Junction.”