
Posts by anna:
Super Cool New Blog Taking on the World’s Cultural Theory Problems!
March 1st, 2011Come join in with the cultural revolution, to be found at your computer now, now and NOW!
Loserville LOVES: Caroline and the Treats!
January 24th, 2011Loserville thought you should know that Caroline and the Treats – the candy pop rock ‘n’ roll band fronted by a former Norwegian porn star looking to make a difference – are the sh*t!
As seen from the Madrid’s very own Rock ‘n’ Roll Ballroom, the Wurlitzer, Caroline and the Treats veritably shone. I don’t know if that was just Cazza’s gold sparkly boob-tube leotard or a sign of glimmering talent, Caroline kicked punk rock arse – shimmying, stomping and shaking her always visible booty. The crowd fell in love with her sultry feline pouts and be-holed black fishnet stockings and found themselves crying ‘Otra!’ in the hope of an encore. Fat male bandmembers resembling Meat Loaf and your best friend’s dad added to the show. Out of place but very much in our hearts, Caroline and the Treats are fantastic. Love them, follow them, or at least follow them on Myspace. Thanks everyone.
http://www.myspace.com/carolineandthetreats
Enjoy your Christmas dinner, courtesy of Fura dels Baus…
December 24th, 2010Just to let you know about the amazing super-great unmissable Titus Andronicus by Catalan theatre company La Fura dels Baus. Known for theatrics antics separating audience and theatre, their spectacle in the Canal theatre in Madrid proved no exception. Vrooming round the basketball-court-sized room on mini quad-bikes, the actors of the Degustación bashed audience members out the way in order to continue playing the virtual shoot-’em-up game visualized on all four walls of the auditorium. Only when a ‘PAUSE’ appeared on the big screens could the audience members catch their breath.
The drama of our favourite Stratford-Upon-Avon gangster being played out on giant Segways, the audience could not help but admire the gory cutting-out-the-tongue scene of ill-fated Lavinia from below, simultaneously fearing for their lives as the vehicles aggressively divided the vacillating audience. An on-stage cook confused and delighted the audience by handing out delicious newly-made pastries/dried seaweed/sausages and mushrooms passed onto the actors and delivered in style by sexy segways. This message was not fully understood until the end of the show when audience members were invited on stage to enjoy the banquet and the message projected onto the surrounding walls was : After tragedy strikes, the people eat on. A humorous motto to the humorously conceived version of this Shakespearean tragedy. Despite Titus Andronicus’ 400+ year fame, the pounding dance music and fear-for-life felt during the quad bike ball-throwing scenarios dotted throughout the play made the audience overlook the boring plot of a tired play. Amazing stuff – come back Fura!!
Spanish Blunderboard! Tricky Traps and how to avoid them.
December 1st, 2010Languages have always been a source of much mirth and humour amongst human beings. Wordplay and blunders in particular tickle our funny bone in that way that nothing else quite can. Ever since mum told me to mind her French after ramming into the back of someone else’s car or when my older brother Rupert told me to say ‘My dad’s a banker’ whilst putting two fingers in my mouth to stretch my lips and produce the sound ‘w’ insted of ‘b’, I’ve known something was up.
Which is why, now being in a country that is in many ways, very foreign, I am coming across second language language blunders and am reaping the benefits of this rich experience. In my experience there are 3 major ways in which you can go wonderfully wrong in Spanish:
1. Reflexive verbs – ever of the sexual nature, you must be sure you know who is doing what to who, and that it is normal in these weird Mediterranean countries for you to be doing something to yourself and it is not dirty. For example, on my Spanish exchange when I was 17, saying ‘Te importa si me duchas?’ to my exchange’s dad while I was in the bathroom is clearly wrong. He ran out in horror at the thought of committing this oddly sanitizing crime. No showering for me.
2. Incidental misconjunction of phonemes – A posh name for something that is, really quite simple. A German friend of mine with only 2 months’ Spanish under her belt made this mistake while innocently trying to explain that her rabbit (conejo)’s name was Shakespeare. Unfortunately she said the dreaded Spanish ‘ñ’ and said ‘coñejo’ instead, which resembles a more feline equivalent slang term in English representing women’s genitalia. The Spaniards cracked up on the instant of hearing this error, proving my point that there is something about language which just plain gets to us. No one cared much for hearing about her cat Shakespeare after that.
3 – Vocabulary. Memorise it how you will, you will always get it muddled up and confused at points. When I was trying to explain to my perennially naked German flatmate that I was really cold and had goosebumps (piel de gallinas), I instead told her I had ‘gilipollas’, the equivalent in English of saying ‘I have a massive dick on my arm.’ It has never been lived down in my flat and I will perpetually be faced with hoots of laughter in conjunction with pointing at arms and saying ‘gilipollas! gilipollas!’ Oh well, guess I had to be the strange foreigner at some point in my life.
Hope you have enjoyed my guide to not f*cking up language! Now go have fun and get your own examples! 
Culture Vulture: Overseeing Culture so you don’t have to: ESPERANZA SPALDING
November 18th, 2010
‘Don’t worry if we fall in love, we will never touch the ground, just fall into a dream…’ As the conclusive mellifluous tones of Esperanza Spalding’s final number floated gently up into the vaults of the Fernán Gómez theatre in Madrid last Wednesday night, the enamoured crowd withdrew even further into its somnolent daze. Esperanza Spalding, the Oregon multi-instrumentalist currently receiving great critical acclaim in the jazz world came to Madrid to participate in the city’s 27th annual festival dedicated to the beret-embracing, cigar-loving genre of music.
Tipped-off as one of the hottest acts on the bill, Spalding did not disappoint. The underground semicircular theatre of Fernán Gómez was abuzz with jaunty jazzers impatiently anticipating the prodigious double bassist. The audience had not underestimated the importance of the occasion on the jazz calendar and the donning of at least one item of one’s most wacky 90s clothing reminiscent of Dead Poets Society’s Charlie Dalton, AKA Rwanda, was abundant. When the lights went down however, the attention turned from the self-intrigued jazzers to a small, boyish figure quietly entering the stage. The figure took its place in a conveniently-located arm-chair, kicked off its shoes and poured itself a glass of wine. A state of night time tranquillity washed over the audience. After some time sipping peacefully on her red wine, Spalding picks up her double bass.
Spalding being the tiny creature she is, a delightfully androgynous mixture of a young Michael Jackson and a prime-time Jimi Hendrix, the bass towers over her and threatens to flatten her if ever she were to let it go. She never does of course, and holds it as if it were weightless, curving over it to reach the higher notes and letting her afrotic curls roam free. She performs some solo numbers and lets the audience know what she’s vocally made of. A sweet sound between Billie Holliday and Sarah Vaughan complements the entranced mood of the audience.
Her accompanying band join her on stage, and delight us with sudden interspersions into a full-on instrumental section following Esperanza’s solo sweet tones. Some great moments follow; the duo scat section involving Spalding, her backing vocalist Leala Cyr and a running bass line, the euphoria of the moments when all the band are ‘on’, the sudden switch between solo Spalding and full chorus of cello, violin, backing vocals, piano and drums.
The most memorable of these magical moments however occurs during the encore, with the warm Spanish crowd demanding ‘Otra! Otra!’ and from behind the curtain out comes only the drummer. He picks up his snare drum determinedly, and, just when the crowd think he’s just packing away early, Esperanza joins him centre stage and the two complete a Frank Sinatra-esque amorous jaunt with only a snare drum and double bass to accompany them. After this enchanting moment, the crowd is ready to roar. Spalding however, plays it ever so coolly, and takes us back into the tranquillity of the concert’s opening moments, sweetly departing with a rendition of her ‘Don’t worry if we fall in love, we will never touch the ground…’ It’s a bit too late for that Spalding! The audience is head-over-heels, saccharine-sweet faces filling the mass exodus following the final, lingering melody. In short, watch out for this balmy jazzster, she has all the grit and determination to take her mellifluous melodies to heaven and back!
Nutty-professor artist worth checking out!
August 7th, 2010
Andrzej Maria Borkowski. Can’t pronounce it? Neither can we. Just thought we’d write a word or two about the talented nutty-professoresque artist Andrzej Maria Borkowski.
Focusing mainly onsilk printing, Andrzej’s art’s recurring themes are evocative phrases from porno magazines, an acephalous (means without head, look it up if you don’t believe me!) lady woman with legs twisting into the shape of an octopus’ tendrils, and an odd-looking octopus cartoon character.
Andrzej’s enthusiasm is infectious. Anyone faced with his explanation of his painting ‘Yes but no’, using the acephalous woman-creature figure, would be forced to relinquish some of that staunch English conservatism we’ve got going on, and yield to the zany Polish larger-than-life attitude Andrzej seems to possess. ‘It’s that moment when you go ‘aaaaargh!!” he explains to me, thrusting pelvis forward and retracting it almost as quickly

, ‘Yes, but no!!’, he finishes, crossing his legs over each other in an awkward inhibitive fashion. For me, this captures the moment perfectly, the awkwardness involved in most of our attitudes towards not just sexual relations, but any encounter with the unknown. Where will it lead us? Why should we forfeit the legibility of our own lives
to the frighteningly unreadability of the unknown?

Andrzej answers this perfectly for me. Suspend your E
nglish conservatism and spend an afternoon talking to this artist/actor whose only acting roles have been those of ‘a crazy professor!’ he exclaims, half-incredulous but also half-knowing. For Andrzej is a crazy professor. The students of Brighton University know him well for his seminars on performance. He admits to me that teaching this kind of thing feels fraudulent as ‘How do
you teach it!?’ he shrieks to me. ‘It’s impossible, it’s art! You do what you want!’ He also confesses to loving it, as the students keep him young in spirit. To be honest though, I think it’s more him keeping them young in spirit. Never have I met such an enthusiastic pioneer of all things young, new and energized. I’ve included a few photos here, which I hope will get Andrzej’s personality across a little easier.
If you fancy checking his art out contact him on facebook under Andrzej Maria Borkowski or here: http://www.flickr.com/photos/42697978@N04/
Enjoy!

When Jazz Rules the World
August 3rd, 2010Yo diggidy yo! Just letting y’all know about the latest jazz/hip hop phenomenon. Do not let this one go! Featuring Jurassic 5, Soweto Kinch and A Tribe Called Quest all laid down to a funky jazz beat. As Soweto Kinch says ‘What if bee-bop ruled the world? It would have it’s own palace of dukes and earls. What if an angry man raises his fists? But you could just calm him down by singin’ a jazz rift.’ Smooth. This mixtape album, found HERE http://www.musicsense.it/album511045-The-Hip-Hop-Jazz-mixtape-Chapter-2.htm.
Have fun guys!
When the Price is right…Confessions of a self-avowed geekaholic
August 2nd, 2010Having always harboured a soft spot for the wonderers of the scientific world, I’ve had my fair share of amorous rapports with physicists and mathematicians. My very first encounter with a geek being at the age of six when I outrightly pooed to impress a diffident boy-friend, I have gone through the realms of geek-preciating, from adoring their ability to be easily shocked to admiring their dreamy look on beholding a Feynman text-book. My first true geek crush (apart from Aaron Carter, a demi pop-god geek crush), was my maths teacher, with whom I would flirt quite openly in class, spurting out my true feelings in between trig functions. Despite extra leniency (he once let me do a rap with my friend Suzie in front of the whole class), my love was attested to no avail, and I eventually gave up trying to impress, writing off the whole episode as an ‘amusing’ period of my youth.
At school however, I did not truly know what it was to be a geek. I thought people who attended classes punctually and did their homework at home were geeks. It was not until university that I discovered a whole new species of delicious geeks. The first year was a very exciting time, seeing the range of clothes across the subjects form a spectrum between long flowing hippy skirts and colourful floral tops at one end (the philosophers), and old jeans plus a Berghaus fleece top most likely bought three years ago from a Blacks super-sale on the biennial shopping trip with mum (the physicists) at the other end. This second extreme fascinated me beyond belief. What did this strange species do if they (obviously) didn’t spend all their time shopping and getting acclimatized to the latest pop-culture fad? How did they live without trips to the West End or Camden Town? What was the need for all the outdoor clothing if they were clearly spending all their time indoors being bookish? They must have something more lasting, less transient, more meaningful to do with their time. I wanted in. When I talked to these people, they turned out to have a lot to say. Not just about the latest Paolo Nutini album, but things, real funny things, phenomena about the kind of thing my parents would watch of a Sunday. Jonathan Ross, jokes about Peter Mandelson, references from Monty Python. All these clever things I’d previously associated with older generations featured strongly in their background and humour. It was as if they respected their parents. This was totally new for me. From the age of 6 my brother Rupert and I had dragged dad round Sainsbury’s loading up the trolley with anything we wanted. We knew he was too sweet and nice to defy our bullyish tendencies. We had a banterous, not respectful relationship and the notion of these well-respected and listened-to parents fascinated me. It was the biggest and baddest notion of rebellion I’d ever come across. I loved it.
So started and developed my adoration of the geek. I had a few dalliances with a couple, but they turned out to be not real geeks with an overpowering interest in some niche part of molecular physics, but normal people with ideas of social self-advancement, which eventually effaced their original attractive geeky qualities for me. A couple didn’t think I was geeky enough for them, and they discouraged any geek writing on my part. For me this was heartbreaking. My greatest subject will always be the geek. Whatever creative part of my life I am working on, the geek will be present in the foreground, or the background where they (self-admittingly) belong.
I just wanted to take some line space on Loserville to pay homage to a geek that stood out amongst the rest. I don’t know, maybe the belt buckle on his high-waisted mountain-climbing trousers was glinting at me especially brightly one day. However you put it one geek caught my eye in the swarming crowd of geeks eagerly attending lectures one day. He is a true geek, one that delights not only in understanding the concepts of the physical world, but also in explaining them. He is happiest at home with a book called something like Quantum Physics in a Nutshell, where no matter how he is positioned: sitting, standing, leaning against a wall, being talked at by me, he is absorbed in the (what I deem) complex concepts this book yields to him. His no-nonsense approach to this (he is always reading, whereas I have a continual pile of books I fear to look at) is inspiring in a world where information overload is persistent and an impediment to longer bouts of concentrated activities. I thought Loserville could do with a bit of love, especially towards geeks, whom I hope form a large part of readership. So I’d just like to say that this is one special geek, and I’ve had a special time with him. No matter what happens in the future (as the future is long and unknown) I’ll never forget the inspiration you’ve been to me and the niceness in your heart. You are very generous and I’m sure lots of little geeks will benefit from your keenness and devotion to geekhood one day (students I’m not suggesting you form your own familial geek army!).
This is my introduction to the Geek section of Loserville. I’ll be doing a Geek of the Week feature from now on, where I’ll include inspiring articles and interviews with geeks from all over the world. I am very much looking forward to it. I hope you are.

When I was younger I used to wear my IB point score on my chest to try to entice those geeky boys. All that happened was my mean so-called 'friends' smoked in my face and told me to go back to Loserville. :(
Urgent support needed for Vera Lynn’s Spanish Rival!
September 22nd, 2009This Marta Sanchez video needs your support!! Marta Sanchez is an old dame as worthy as Vera of our love and affection currently starring in Colgando en tus manos, the love ballad, with co-singer and sex icon Carlos Baute – father of illegitimate and forgotten Venezuelan son…the Spanish uber-geek pop has for far too long gone unnoticed and understated. Here’s for a REVIVAL!!
Have you got enough gas to get back to Loserville?
September 21st, 2009
THE FASHION CLUB SHOPS FOR THE HOMELESS.
Sandy : “You mean a homeless person will be wearing my clothes?”
Tiffany : “Quinn, are you really comfortable with that concept?”
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