How much free stuff can Rob McCaffrey get? LV free stuff challenge part 2!

I have valiantly been sending letters off to some of the UKs biggest stores in the hope of showing you who coughs up and who chokes down. The letters range from complaints to compliments but what they all have in common is my expectation of free stuff.

So, it pains me to admit that my mission to rob the stores of this great country for all the free stuff I can get is… not going well. Let’s look at who came up with the goods and who failed to deliver:

1. Space NK – eventually got back to me with a shower gel and a letter straight from dullsville.
2. Boots – £20 voucher and a grovelling but uninspired letter
3. Next – a lovely £20 voucher and a forgettable note of apology.
4. Hula Hoops – £2 voucher (hello) and a letter that demonstrated how they simply hadn’t even bothered to read what I wrote to them.
5. Asda – a letter, no frickin’ voucher!
6. KFC – nothing
7. Zara – am I invisible?
8. Topman – last time I shop there.
9. Waterstones – iPad from now on
10. Publishers of the Twilight books – I think I may have scared them.
11. Tesco – Every Little helps my arse.

Finally I think all that is left to do is read the letter I sent to KFC.

Why would they ignore that? You tell me?

Wednesday 28th July 2010.

Dear Sir or Madam,

KFC has been a staple in my diet since my parents and I moved over from Communist Russia in the early eighties. We lived in Blackpool within walking distance of a ‘Kentucky Fried Chicken’ as it was known back then. I used to go along everyday and come back with fried chicken to feed the family.

We did not yet own a Television and my English was limited to ordering food and swearing at the postman (we thought he was breaking in every morning to steal Papas collection of walking sticks). When my English was good enough I joined a school and tasted school dinners. This food tasted more like the food I had in Russia but I still ate it for fear I would be sent to back to a labour camp. I would go home after school and sit with my parents singing songs about the motherland whist eating yet more delicious Fried Chicken. Eventually we got a Television and I truly felt British when we sat down and ate in front of the flickering screen. I liked Noel Edmunds and Jeremy Beadle best of all (I think it was their beards).

KFC was the glue that held us together through those turbulent years. And your handy wipes were what kept us clean until we figured out how to pay the water rates. I wanted to let you know how I sometimes think of the colonel like a kindly Uncle and someone I owe my life to.

Yours Sincerely

Robert Mcaffrey