Loserville guide to Benefits & Tax Credits – Quick before Cleggy & Cam cut em!
Ok, so this writer has never been to the job centre or civic centre to claim any benefits I have been entitled to. I recently went on a finance course which taught me that I actually was entitled to certain benefits. I don’t know what it was before, maybe shame, maybe fear of going to the office, maybe the thought that I would get a job too quickly to make it worthwhile. Anyhoo I learnt some jazzy things and here they are distilled for you…
Loserville LOVES Pound Shop Porn – You can win by leaving a comment anywhere on the site
Ok here’s the deal we got loadsa Pound Shop Porn & you’ve got bags of opinions…
All you need to WIN a £ PORN classic such as MILF Encounter do is leave a comment at the bottom of any of our posts on Loserville.tv…and you win! How easy is that!
Retro Article – Loserville gets cautioned as a Smooth Criminal at This is It Premiere
So I as Rupert decided to go, on my own and hold up a poster to try and say something to this effect using the marketing jargon as a starting point. However after just 25 minutes of standing very peacefully I was removed. I stood by a big screen at the edge of Leicester Square which declared This is It premiere with celebrities…
I HATE…Mobile Phone Companies!
Ever feel like mobile phone companies are taking the piss? Stuck in a 24-month contract that seems to apply to you but not them? Tired of companies making mistakes and thinking that “sorry” is good enough compensation?
I think we should all use this template…
Loserville LOVES…Village Fêtes
Loserville loves nothing more than a good ol’ knees up down the local village green. We sometimes gets a little sad at the lack of inner-city fêtes but…
FEAR NOT!
The Alternative Village Fête 2010 takes place this weekend as part of the Watch This Space Festival at The National Theatre.
I HATE… Skinny Legs
All you ‘pretty’ boys with your ‘pretty’ girlfriends – as if you’re not annoying enough, you trot around on those spindly excuses for legs, all the while looking as if a sudden gust of wind might just snap you in half.
I HATE YOU!
(PS I might be a teensy bit jealous…)
First article of Hate Week – I hate People
Ok I don’t hate all people just most. Prove me wrong… Here’s some of my reasons why I hate la gente: People swan around like they are so fecking happy wrecklessly not thinking about anything, drinking coffee and being stoopid. People don’t rebel against any wrong doing within their jurisdiction. People accept how shitty the [...]
Loserville does Edinburgh 2010 – UPDATE: Our Poster Boy Bo Burnham is Nominated for Best Comedy Show! GO BO!
Upon arriving in Edinburgh on Monday morning via the lovely British Airways (thanks for the 2 glasses of wine, biscuits and 6 free newspapers, F*CK YOU EASYJET.) we didn’t have much hope for the Edinburgh Festivals(the biggest festivals of performing arts in the world). And yet we’re so easily proved wrong, here’s how…
Loserville would love to go to the Dark Carnival…
Tonight and tomorrow night, the Old Vic Tunnels play host to Dark Carnival, which looks like as fun and entertaining a way as any to kick-start your weekend. Doors open at 6pm both evenings, and on Saturday night the whole space will be transformed into a performance venue for a one-night-only experience from 8:30pm: Red Light Night!
CONGRATULATIONS MOLLY SEYBOLD! THE BIGGEST LOSER IN ALL OF LOSERVILLE!
Unfortunately, this competition has now closed. Congratulations to Molly, who won a shitload of goodies from our friends at Maiden. Stick around for lots more competitions – NEXT WEEK, WIN SOME POUND-SHOP PORN!
P&J Are Heading To The Fringe
Our good friends Pistol & Jack are heading up to Edinburgh, 27th-29th August. For you lucky ones who can make it, here are the details, along with info on the upcoming Pistol & Jack’s Sunday Supplement @ The Soho Theatre (London)
2010 @ The NYT
Still to come this season from our friends at the National Youth Theatre…
Relish @ The Tramshed, Shoreditch
3-18 September 2010
Stars Over Kabul @ The Tramway, Glasgow
23-25 September 2010
ATTN: Plight of the Bumblebee
Over five days, S’warm will wind an ecological journey from London’s most iconic disused power station, along the South Bank and through The City, before eventually winding up in Canary Wharf on Sunday with a premiere of S’warm the film.
TBiTC #2: MasterBake
Mel & Sue are BACK!
The Great British Bake Off BBC2, Tuesday 8pm
You can’t beat a good cake! But you can, it turns out, over-beat cake mixture – maybe that’s where I’ve been going wrong.
Anyway, everyone’s favourite food-loving lesbian has reunited with that less funny woman to host The Great British Bake Off, which started last night and continues, somehow, for another 5 weeks.
Superb Numberplate
Driving behind this induced childish sniggering. Blanked out a bit to protect their privacy – who knows what they get up to with this vehicle.
Tomasz Schafernaker, Welcome to Loserville!
Oh, look, who hasn’t ever done something like this?
On national TV.
Live.
Poor Tomasz Schafernaker. If you’re reading this Tomasz, don’t look at 0:10-0:11. It’s for your own good.
TBiTC #1: Gears & Tears
On The Box in The Corner this week…
Gears & Tears BBC2, Monday 10:30pm
MEN! HETEROSEXUAL MEN! WITH CARS! AND OBEDIENT WIVES! YEAH!
As if you needed any more proof that Loserville is the bee’s knees
Loserville is off to a top-secret London location on Wednesday – all in the name of the beautiful honeybee.
“If the bee disappears from the surface of the earth, man would have no more than four years to live”
Need a Cultural Holiday? LOOK UP!
Recently I have been sent several emails from Rupert (the creator of Loserville) begging for more ‘heterosexual writers’ – “Loserville has become too camp and I did not mean it to”, well here I am to the rescue again. Two Questions: My first is: “What is more heterosexual than Architecture?” – well maybe many things [...]
WANTED – HETEROSEXUAL FEATURE WRITERS FOR LOSERVILLE
WE DIDN’T MEAN IT BUT LOSERVILLE HAS BECOME A HIVE OF FILTHY HOMOSEXUALITY. IN ORDER TO FIX THIS UNSPEAKABLE TRAVESTY WE WOULD LIKE SOME STRAIGHT MACHO MEN AND ESSEX GIRLS TO SHOW US THE HETERO WAY FORWARD. EMAIL US NOW AT RU@LOSERVILLE.TV AND SAVE OUR SOULS!
Hot new talent – Johnny Lazer!
Hot as f*ck, great tunes and he’s mental live! Check out the videos below! Our friends at Peccadillo Pictures told us about him and we are mega glad they summed him up as the following: A: He’s lovely, B: He’s northern and C: He’s mental.
Top 2 Take That covers & Take That and party video
Top 2 Take That covers & Take That and party video
Anyone else suffering withdrawal symptoms already?
Loserville was a bit slow on the uptake for once, and only caught the final episode of Sherlock on BBC1 last Sunday, but we were hooked and can’t wait for more.
One small request though: please BBC, can Holmes and Watson get it on? Just the once?
If Loserville was a London ‘tube’ line…
…it would surely be the London Overground. The outsider, the newbie, the geeky one that doesn’t quite fit. It goes to all the cool places, all the the edgy places – but when it gets there, it feels somehow out of place.
Need a bed?…try Happy Nightmares!
So weird, upon reading our favourite dodgy goods paper, Loot, we saw a full page advert for this bed company called ‘Happy Nightmares’, and we thought best/worst name for company ever. Check out their website http://www.happynightmares.co.uk Here’s our favourites:
Valentina began to wonder if all he wanted was a bit of nookie on the side – Louise Zergaeng Pomeroy
Louise is an English illustrator based in London. She was educated at Kingston University. She recently won the D&Ad Best New Blood award for her work “I Married a Toyboy Convict”. This work was later exhibited in the inaugural show of gallery 7. Recent clients include The XX, Channel 4 and NoBrow.
Songs to have S-E-X to…
by Queer Suburbanite….On a night out if you’ve pulled, come back with your lover of the night, random shag buddy and your still a bit f*cked off your face.. I recommend that you should look at Loserville and pop on the following…
Do you like Communism and puppet sex? EastEnd Cabaret does and so does LV!
They say: My name is Tom Velvick, Creative Director of EastEnd Cabaret – a Time Out Critic’s Choice duo who is taking London by storm this year with a residency at the infamous CellarDoor, monthly show in Hoxton Square and a short animation series to be aired later this year. “Communist musings and heartfelt Right [...]
We can’t think of a funny original pun on Simon Amstell’s name
Skinny, cute funny guy? Miserable, arrogant arse?* Loserville isn’t sure, but we think Simon Amstell’s new sitcom might be worth a look. Tune in tonight, 10pm on BBC2. Or, um, don’t? Oh, go on, the curly hair is back! *LV saw Mr Amstell at Edinburgh last year, and he was a bit grumpy. Awww, but [...]
Broken Keyboard Epidemic Sweeps Britain
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